Feeling like a failure

Admin Posts : 29 Join date : 2009-12-25 Location : China

For the past 3 days, I have done literally nothing on the second week schedule. I have to admit that I am quite embarrassed about this. Embarassed

Here I am setting up a forum for people to track their progress. I was quite worried to divulge this, then thought 'Why not?' I am not the first, nor will I be the last person who has not exactly followed their own plans.

In looking at it I found that there was a dark part of me that was telling me things like, 'just forget it and stop', 'this isn't working anyway', 'no body has to know', etc. Evil or Very Mad

I realized that this is how I have often dealt with my failures. I just stopped, and moved on looking for something else, thinking something like 'it wasn't for me', or 'next time I will do it right.'

It is so easy to stop doing something, and so hard to just keep on with it, despite 'all the reasons' you could / should stop.

Well, I am not stopping. Sure this was a set back, and I have all of my reasons (excuses) 'WHY' I haven't been doing the exercises, but I am going to keep going.

I have read about the 'Watcher at the Threshold' the big ugly boogie monster Suspect

that jumps out and keeps us away from our enlightenment. I have encountered it before, but I didn't always faced it, and move forward. This forum, though at this exact time not many people are involved, has helped me to keep pushing.

Though we have never met, and we haven't even really interacted much, having a group has actually helped me.

If you have difficulty or set backs, don't worry, you are not alone.

Thanks!

Admin Posts : 29 Join date : 2009-12-25 Location : China

Since writing the original post things have turned around a bit. No, I haven't been doing all of the exercises, but I have been doing most of them, and I intend to start the second week program at the beginning this Monday.

This is my new plan: If something gets in the way of my program, I will not get all bent out of shape. I will instead do the stuff I can, and then restart that weeks program at the beginning of the next week. This keeps me practicing, and lets me still move forward on the program.